Heads Up: I’m posting this because I’m a bad ass like that but not as angry as I had been before, and most importantly, I am not looking for a war here, just expressing my sentiments for the sake of my freedom of speech, whatever…so maybe we can all still be friends. Apology accepted sincerely, too.
Now, proceed at your own discretion.
Let me start with the thing that this person did that offended me straight to the bones: he made an unsolicited vagina “joke.” Okay, to be more specific without making this extensive, he enumerated how vagina is called or is known in the Waray-Waray dialect (which I will opt not to put here since it might as well rub other people the wrong way.)
So, to make a short background of what really happened, he mentioned something first about “semen” and I (being online at that time) replied by advising him to be “decent”, even putting up a religious picture to make a joke out of it. But instead of doing so, he then replied by enumerating vagina’s a.k.a. in our vernacular. I’m not even sure if my reaction was valid, but all I know is that his jokes made me tick. It seemed to me that because I was telling him to be decent with his jokes in our chat box with 10+ people recipients, he was trying to rub his crudeness more to my face as if saying “You can’t tell me what to do… or … I am not doing anything wrong… or… Here, have some more of my ‘indecency’”. I know that maybe it was just me who was taking his “jokes” seriously or I was just being overly sensitive or I was being just a bitch, but whatever it was, I felt what I felt, and I wouldn’t deny it at all. His unsolicited vagina jokes made me tick. It made me uncomfortable.
It harassed me.
Of course, I am boggled. Why would I be harassed with just those jokes, assuming that his explanation is true that he was only telling the other people in the chat box the “different ways of saying vagina in our dialect”? One reason is maybe I am just thinking I am that super smart and cynical to just nod on that unacceptable explanation or maybe he just gave out a lousy excuse to hide his true intentions (and that was to irritate me more because I gave him “censorship”.
Right from the start, I was taught that harassment is subjective. So basically, I have all the right in the world to tell him when to stop telling “jokes” like that (if those were even considered jokes because honestly, there was nothing funny about them or if they were not “jokes” at all, maybe a “helpful” information for those who don’t know yet how to say vagina in Waray-Waray considering that some of us are from a place that speaks that dialect) because I don’t feel comfortable about it anymore, don’t I?
Now, let me talk about “censorship.” Maybe he felt offended too by what I did because I was restraining him from saying several things he wants to say including vagina jokes because:
- He is a teacher in a Catholic school, so apparently he can’t tell jokes like that in class;
- He has a decent mom/family aside from his one closest cousin, so maybe he can’t also tell jokes like that to them;
- We are his Psych major friends from UP and he is expecting us to be open-minded to jokes like that (most probably);
- And we are the only people (if assuming he has no other support group) that can listen to his lewd jokes and that he can be open with just about anything (maybe, because he can even be very dishonest with us sometimes.);
- Or maybe he thinks we will never be offended by his jokes because we are “friends.”
So to censor means to retrain or to confine… However, as I see it, what I did wasn’t censorship. What I did was just trying to ask him for a little politeness because it is common sense that not all people can take capricious jokes. “Dirty jokes” for example, may vary from one person to another like for me, vagina jokes are bullets well, aside from the fact that he knows I am pro-woman, all the time, at all cost. What I was asking was for him to actually give a little respect to our vaginas the way I and other LGBT supporters give respect to the LGBT and their rights and all the things that are beneficial for them. What I was asking was for him to lessen his lewdness because others may become uncomfortable with it, especially if it was unsolicited, like me in general.
Yes, we can talk about anything under the sun, we can talk about sex, same-sex, orgy, penises and vaginas as long as its consensual and as intellectual people, perhaps we can try to be less offensive especially by how we respond to each other. Leave the line towards hatred uncrossed.
My friends may know that I am a person who in as much as possible, tries to understand differences in views and perspectives and accepts it without making so much fuss about it but what is harassing/offending/hurting to me will be harassing/offending/hurting to me and I will speak about it so that it may be known and be a learning experience for all that’s involve. Moreover, I strongly believe that respect begets respect. In my life, I have always been a supporter of all things that are good, not just for me but for other living and non-living creatures as well. I love LGBT and I fight for their rights in the same manner that I love women and men and children and I fight for all of our rights in life and love. But loving the LGBT does not mean that I wouldn’t get offended by their “jokes” if they meant it the other way, especially if it is from a “friend” who knows what I have always been advocating for.
And please, may I just remind all of us people who belong to whichever sector in the society (especially the LGBT which includes me as well) that being an LGBT/a man/ a woman/ a child does not give us the right to be indecent toward other people may it be from the opposite sex or different gender/race/social status/religion etc. just because we are given special privileges. What I mean by indecency is its simplest sense:
- Let us not be offensive toward each other.
- Let our jokes not cross the route toward obscenity.
- Most importantly, let us give other people – may they be our family, friends, acquaintances- the genuine respect that we want them to also offer us.
We are all intelligent people and I am sure we all understand what I have been trying to say in this freaking lengthy post:
Please show some decency and DO NOT insult my vagina because I would not stoop down to your level and insult your penis or your gender or your race or your religion or whatever that’d making you human, so please just SHOW SOME GUTS FOR RESPECT AND MAKE THIS WORLD A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN.